


I'm Supposed to Love You

by MelissaWritesStuff



Series: I'm Supposed to Love You [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-07
Updated: 2015-04-07
Packaged: 2018-03-21 17:05:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3700232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MelissaWritesStuff/pseuds/MelissaWritesStuff
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When one-night stands are not what they seem.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Supposed to Love You

It had taken four years, eight months, and twelve days to get to this point. Four years, eight months, and twelve days, from the moment Tetsurou had first realized that he had feelings for Kei, to now, when he was locking the door behind them before going back to kissing him.

It was all rushing past in a blur, but Tetsurou was _desperately_ trying to cling on to every last detail. He and Kei had been chatting together at Bokuto’s party for most of the night, either in a group or just the two of them, and every bit of conversation was just making Tetsurou fall further and further in love with Kei, as it had since they’d first started talking back at that training camp in high school. And as much as Tetsurou had been craving it, he never would’ve dreamed that tonight would be the night, the night that he finally got the courage to pull Kei aside from the rest of the group, standing just a little too close once they had gone somewhere private. Kei didn’t back away, and if anything, moved a little closer. Tetsurou finally kissed him, and by some miracle, Kei had kissed him back.

Tetsurou wasn’t sure how long they stood in that hallway, hands gently pulling bodies closer as their mouths moved against each other, as that’s where things had started to get a little fuzzy in his mind. He just knew that at some point, they pulled away, both completely breathless, and Tetsurou had murmured, “Do you want to go back to my place?”

“Yes.”

Four years, eight months, and twelve days.

Tetsurou’s apartment was just a few blocks away from Bokuto’s, and it was a quick walk, their clasped hands keeping them side by side, making Tetsurou keep up with the strides of Kei’s long legs. It took everything in Tetsurou not to start kissing Kei again in the elevator, but the second he’d locked his apartment behind them, all the willpower in the world couldn’t keep him from Kei, finally holding him in his arms, finally tasting his lips, finally expressing without words the emotions that had built up over four years, eight months, and twelve days of being completely, hopelessly in love with Tsukishima Kei.

Kei was the one who started unbuttoning Tetsurou’s shirt first, and all of Tetsurou’s plans about taking things slow once the time came went out the window. It felt so good to be undressed by Kei, to feel Kei’s hands on his bare skin, to know that Kei _wanted_ him.

“Tsukki,” Tetsurou had mumbled against his lips, his own hands slipping under the hem of Kei’s shirt. “ _God_ , I want you so bad...”

The next thing Tetsurou remembered was Kei lying down on Tetsurou’s mattress, all breathy whines and soft moans as Tetsurou kissed as much of Kei’s skin as he could, covering Kei’s throat and chest and stomach with affection that still wasn’t enough. It would take Tetsurou years to fully express how much he loved Kei, but this was a start, this was their start. And as Kei combed his fingers through Tetsurou’s hair, as he ran his hands over the muscles of Tetsurou’s back, as he mumbled, “Kuroo, please, _please_ fuck me,” with his voice so low and weak and hungry, Tetsurou could do nothing for now but oblige, making a thousand promises to himself of all the good he was going to do for Kei now that he was his, now that this was finally, _finally_ happening.

Four years, eight months, and twelve days.

That’s how long it took for Tetsurou to finally fall asleep with Tsukishima Kei in his arms.

~

Kei wasn’t there anymore when Tetsurou woke up.

He hadn’t left yet. He had just already out of bed, and was getting dressed rather quickly.

“Tsukki,” Tetsurou grumbled, stifling a yawn. “C’mon, come back to bed.”

“I should probably be going, Kuroo-san,” Kei said with a smile and a dismissive wave of his hand. 

This wasn’t right.

“Oh.” It was all Tetsurou could bring himself to say. _This isn’t how it’s supposed to go._

“Oh, and would you mind not telling too many people about this?” Kei asked, oblivious to how his words were making it hard for Tetsurou to breathe. “I just don’t need everyone knowing I was your latest one-night stand.”

 _One-night stand._ Tetsurou would never have expected that those words could make his heart shatter like that.

“Right,” Tetsurou mumbled, using whatever strength he had left to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill down his cheeks.

“I mean, we both knew what this was going into it, right?” Kei asked as he slipped on his shoes. “So don’t worry about it, you’re off the hook. You don’t tell anyone what happened, and I don’t make you put up with me longer than you have to.”

“I knew I liked you, Tsukki,” Tetsurou said with a bitter chuckle. One tear started running down his face, but it didn’t matter. Kei wasn’t looking at him anymore.

“I’ll see you around, I guess,” Kei said over his shoulder as he let himself out of Tetsurou’s bedroom.

“See you, Tsukki.”

 _This wasn’t how this was supposed to go_ , Tetsurou thought as Kei closed the door behind him. His entire body just felt numb aside from the hot tears on his face that he couldn’t hold back anymore. _This was supposed to be the beginning. I’m supposed to get so much more time._

_I’m supposed to love you._

~~~

Just outside of Tetsurou’s apartment, Kei took a moment to make sure he had all his belongings in his pockets before heading home. Then he had to take a moment longer to compose himself, because there was a lump in his throat that he just couldn’t swallow back.

 _You knew what this was going into his_ , he told himself, tilting his head up toward the ceiling to blink back tears, mirthlessly grinning at how pathetic he was. _You knew._

And Kei had told himself that it would be worth it. It would be worth it, settling for a one-night stand with Tetsurou, just to be able to pretend for a night that Tetsurou was his. Just to be able to feel what it might feel like to be loved by Tetsurou, to feel his skin against his and to breathe in Tetsurou’s air as he exhaled beautiful words against Kei’s mouth and to fall asleep with his face buried against Tetsurou’s neck, dreaming of what it would be like if Tetsurou had really wanted him to stay in the morning.

Kei had wanted more than anything for Tetsurou to stop him this morning. To tell him that he was wrong, that this was more than what Kei knew it really was. To tell him that Kei hadn’t been alone in being absolutely in love with him for the past few years.

 _It wasn’t worth it._ Kei leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor, absolutely wallowing in his own sea of self-pity as hiding his face behind his knees to conceal his river of tears. _God, this wasn’t worth it at all._

_It’s not fair._

Kei wanted Tetsurou more than anything, and Tetsurou could just let him leave in the morning like it was nothing, and now Kei was just supposed to forget about it and move on.

But he’d been trying for years. It was impossible to forget about Tetsurou.

 _It’s not supposed to be like this_ , Kei thought miserably as he took off his glasses, wiping away his tears roughly on the back of his hand. _I’m supposed to love you._

**Author's Note:**

> {[click here to reblog from my writing tumblr](http://melissawritesstuff.tumblr.com/post/115515045419/im-supposed-to-love-you)}  
> ★reblogs are much appreciated★


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